source YouTube
40 Parenting Tips
Chris Spradlin over at EpicParent.tv wrote a list of 40 parenting tips in honor of his 40th birthday. It’s a noteworthy list:
1. Take lots of pictures
2. Leave notes in your kids lunches
3. ALWAYS ASK FORGIVENESS
4. Let your kids fail
5. Laugh
6. Stop aggravating your kids! Still trying to learn this one
7. Dad’s date your daughters or someone else will
8. Don’t sweat the bad grades so much
9. Don’t play favorites, spread your time out equally
10. Show your kids Jesus, nothing else really matters
11. Find your kids mentors
12. Read to them at night
13. Pray over your kids most nights
14. Don’t make your kids walk on egg shells
15. Use your inside voice, no need to scream
16. If your divorced, JUST GET ALONG
17. Go to your kids’ games, it means more than you think
18. ALWAYS ASK FORGIVENESS
19. Hug your kids everyday
20. Say “I LOVE YOU” a bunch
21. Make their favorite snack just because
22. Ask them “how can I pray for you”
23. Let them choose the TV station & radio station
24. When they deserve punishment simply hug them…give irrational grace
25. Let them jump bed to bed in the hotel
26. Encourage them to slide down the stairs on a sled
27. Let them eat on the couch
28. Get up and dance with them at the wedding reception
29. Do a Chinese fire drill with your kids…my wife did this last week
30. Take the toilet papering
31. Let them skip school
32. Give them $100 and let them spend it without parameters
33. Let your controlling kids choose every meal and activity for the day
34. DID SAY ASK FORGIVENESS J
35. Sit down and play legos with them…without watching the clock
36. Give them your cell phone for the entire day
37. Let them sit in your lap and drive
38. Encourage them to build a fort in the living room and sleep in it with them
39. Let them sleep on the trampoline
40. Deposit Jesus in their heart every single day
via EpicParent.tv
Memorizing Bible Verses @ Home
I credit this to my Mom! When my brother Brad and I were young, my Mom would help us memorize Bible verses. We had no idea at the time what an impact knowing these Bible verses would be.
So, drawing on the tradition of my family, in our home we’ve been trying to do some of the same. Right before Easter I knew that our senior Pastor was going to be speaking on John 3:16, so I took some butcher block paper and a Sharpie and proceeded to write the verse on it and then taped it to the wall in our hallway. Once or twice a day we would stop by the verse on the wall, pause, and say it together. When the girls were in church on Easter Sunday and Mark started preaching on John 3:16, the girls heads whipped up at me in shock that someone else would know this verse we’ve been learning at home! It was a neat connection piece.
Then we added another verse, Ephesians 4:32, because they have been learning what it means to forgive as they offend and annoy each other as sisters. Fascinating!
Fall of Judah (story, video & audio)
After a series of “evil” kings, the LORD God sends King Nebuchadnezzer of Babylon into the land of Judah and exiles its king and people. Later, King Neb destroys the city of Jerusalem and the Temple of the LORD.
For a period of 70 years, the people of Judah are in semi-permanent time-out.
Video link (vimeo.com)
Audio file (6.2mb, mp3)
Story lesson (515.61kb, pdf)
5 Ways to Get Kids to Listen in Your Ministry
Wayne Stocks wrote a great article entitled: Five Ways to Get Kids to Shut Up! Humorous and intriguing title, right? Read below:
1. Keep them Engaged
When kids are engaged they are much less likely to talk and cause problems. This isn’t always true, but it holds up as a general rule. So, make sure you’re presenting the Gospel and the Bible faithfully, but also make sure you are doing it in a way that kids are engaged. Get them involved, have some fun, convey the excitement and your issues with kids talking at the wrong time will decrease.
2. Have Clearly Defined Rules and Consequences
Come up with a short list of rules for your class. Keep it simple, but make sure being quiet when they’re supposed to is one of the rules. Also have a very concise and clear consequence pattern. Go over both of those every week so the kids know what is expected and know what will happen with they don’t follow the rules.
3. Give them Time To Talk
Build time into your lesson when they have the chance to talk. Ask questions, get them involved in presenting the lesson, have an upbeat worship time. Give them an outlet to speak and they will be less likely to talk when you don’t want them to.
4. Build a Relationship
Kids will have a lot easier time interrupting you and being disrespectful when you don’t have a personal relationship with them. Build a relationship and speak into their lives, and you will be amazed at the difference in their behavior.
5. Whisper
No really! Try it sometime when your classroom is really really loud. No matter how much they want to talk, kids also want to know what is going down. As they get louder, you get softer in your voice. When it works, it’s magic! The kids will stop talking because when you’re whispering they want to hear.
The Gathering (video)
Two months ago, Charlene Rohr called me and told me about a dream she had the night before. In her dream, she saw youth groups from around the area at an event together, in unity, in the metropolis of Drummond, WI. I thought it was a great idea and told her I would support her in any I could.
So Char went to work and did what she does best: organize! She pulled together youth group leaders from Hayward, Ashland, Cable and Barnes and we had a meeting. At that meeting we decided what the event would look like, time frame and such. We ended up calling the event “The Gathering.”
It ended up being pretty good. We played games, had snacks and pizza. Northern Lights Church performed a memorable skit and Sam Hansen shared his testimony. At the end, the students gathered in prayer groups and prayed.
It was a simple event designed to bring together youth groups from the area and help kick-start some things for youth in Drummond, WI.
It’s a start…
Youth Ministry: Are You Relevant?
I’m currently 33 years-old. I’m not that old, yet, But in a teenager’s world, I am OLD! And I feel it… not in a diminishing physical way, but in an ever-widening gap between me and the middle school students way.
I was in middle school (grades 6-8) from 1988-1991. There was no internet (as we know it). Most phones were still attached to the wall with long cords and long distance calls were expensive. Cassette tapes were on their way out and CDs were making their splash. Boom boxes and Sony Walkman’s were cool (no such thing as an iPod). Pants with pockets and rolled up at the bottom was in style. Tony Hawk was every skateboarder’s hero. And I could go on and on…
Today’s culture is very different, and considering… I am really OLD and out-of-touch with it.
The argument in youth ministry circles usually swirls around how much cultural relevancy does one need to have and how much biblical/scriptural relevancy does one need to have, and how the two interact.
Read this article:
Lately I’ve listened to a conversation going on in youth ministry circles on whether or not it’s valuable to be versed in youth culture . . . to be “culturally relevant.” I think this conversation is of vital importance to us as youth workers. Give me 4 minutes of your time to share my thoughts (and I welcome yours, as well).
I believe youth workers must strive to be experts in two things: Scripture and culture. Let me explain.
We know the truth of Scripture is timeless. It’s as effective today at spiritual transformation as it was hundreds and thousands of years ago.
However, culture is not timeless. Culture is fluid. It changes with time and geography. You would never attempt to reach a people group in another culture without considering that culture’s unique realities. You wouldn’t travel to rural Chongqing, China and teach the exact same lesson you would teach in Idaho Falls. While the underlying biblical truths have a universal application, the cultural “vehicle” through which your lesson is communicated would be wholly ineffective.
I believe as youth workers we should approach reaching our students with the same level of cultural awareness that we would take in approaching another people group in another culture.
Why? What are the benefits of a commitment to cultural relevancy? Glad you asked.
- It’s Strategic
Knowing youth culture helps you tailor your message in order to deliver Scripture’s un-changing truth in a way that is wrapped in the rhetoric of the society surrounding your students.- It Shows You Care
Whenever I travel internationally, I learn some basic conversational phrases in the native language. When I need something and engage someone in their native language (however clumsily), they are much more inclined to help. It shows that I value their culture. Knowing youth culture says the same thing to your students.- It’s Proactive
If you’re aware of a trend, movie, or TV show that you know you will need to respond to (such as this one), you can be proactive in engaging your students. By doing so, you have the opportunity to equip your students with a biblical response to whatever the specific issue is.- You Become a Resource for Parents
I recently heard Josh McDowell say that the generation gap between parents and teenagers is wider than it has ever been . . . and parents don’t know it exists! You can become an invaluable resource for parents as they try and raise children in a culture that is pretty hostile to the ways of God’s Kingdom.So, I’ve answered the “why.” What’s the “how”? How do we make sure we are as culturally relevant as we can be when it comes to youth culture? It’s actually pretty simple:
- Behave Like A Teenager
Watch the movies they watch. Read the magazines they read. Visit the websites they visit. Listen to music they listen to. By doing so you craft your cultural vocabulary. You will know the cultural factors influencing your students.- Engage Students in Cultural Conversation
Titus 2:12 says that we are to “say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age.” You can help your students know how to say “no” to the harmful elements of culture by engaging them in conversation regarding the cultural influences in their lives.- Look for the bridges to God’s Word
I believe one of your goals as a youth worker is to help your students develop a biblical worldview, to be able to see the world through the filter of Scripture. It’s vitally important to look for bridges back to Scripture as you discuss what you see in culture. By doing so, you help students rise above the negative effects of culture.As I stated earlier, I believe all youth workers are called to be versed in culture. Want biblical evidence? Look no further than the way Paul conducted himself in Athens. Acts 17:22-23 says this:
Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said: “Men of Athens! I see that in every way you are very religious. For as I walked around and looked carefully at your objects of worship.
Paul studied Athenian culture then used this knowledge to craft a Gospel message unique to his audience. It is our call as youth workers to be committed to the same level of cultural relevancy. The effectiveness of your ministry is at stake.
It’s a tricky dance. Some youth pastors strive to be “cool” and “hip” with the students. And they are… for a while. But then they get old… like me. And you either have to grow in cultural relevancy and biblical relevancy and connect the two, or you have to quit and go work at Starbucks or something else.
Here’s what I think: I don’t think teenagers care how cool or hip or cultural relevant or versed you are. They just want to know how much you care. They want relationships. They want adults who look past their quirkiness and accept them for the rapidly changing human beings they are (developmentally) and still like like them. They want relationships with adults who can converse and field questions and thoughts and be safe with them. It’s the risk to be relational that youth pastors or any adult mentor to a teenagers needs to embrace to be “relevant” with teenagers.
Trust me, being cool is fleeting and temporary. Being relevant relationally? Well that has withstood the sands of time. It seems like human beings were made for significant relationships. Interesting, eh?
source YM360
Church Nursery: More Than Just Babysitting?
Almost 2 years ago, we relocated our church’s nursery to another part of our facility. In conjunction with this move came a refocusing of our programming and curricular intent. We thought it was important to use the hour the infants and toddlers are in the Nursery for intentional spiritual instruction rather than just mere childcare. We wanted the best of both worlds – fantastic, professional and high quality childcare, coupled with intentional and structured spiritual instruction. And it has worked marvelously!
One of the gems of this whole process was NOT finding the “magic” curriculum which made everything hum along and fulfill our goals; rather it was a consistent routine. We created and posted a simple and sustainable routine which has been in effect since day one. I personally have two daughters who are in the church nursery and they can tell you the routine by heart! The kids know what to expect, they know what’s next, they know what to look forward to. There are no surprises or inconsistencies other than: what is the story today? or who is going to be hanging out with us today doing the singing and the projects?
It’s been amazing to watch what has happened over the last 2 years in our nursery. Our Early Childhood Director, Linda Waystedt, has zealously implemented this strategy (which she helped to create, which greatly helps the implementation by the way!). She is to be commended for her tireless work and leadership. Speaking as a parent, it’s incredible to me that when my girls come home from church they can tell me the story that Miss Linda (or someone else) taught them that day! It makes my heart happy!
I came across an article which emphasizes intentional discipling in our church nurseries:
Too often the church nursery is thought of as “only childcare.” What if it come be something more? What if the infant and toddler ministry was a prototype for the rest of your children’s ministry? If you want to take today’s child to the place where he will be a Christ-changed, hope-filled, productive adult we must begin in the nursery.
To start, both men and women must serve in the nursery. Kids need to learn, from their first Sunday in church, that men walk with God not just women.
God has given infants a very important task – learn to trust. However, when there is a different adult in the nursery every Sunday how can the child learn to trust in relation to the Body of Christ?
A “Discipler” is intentional in building a relationship with a child and with his parents. She knows everything there is to know about this child. She visits the child in his home and has their family to her home. On Sunday morning it isn’t a stranger who greets the child it is someone the child has grown to trust.
One Sunday I was getting out of my car when two families pulled up next to me. One dad had just gotten his six month old son out of the car seat and was walking to the back of the car when the other dad walked by. The six month old lunged out of his dad’s arms and the other dad just barely caught him. That other dad was in the nursery every week with the child – they had connected.
The adults who serve with the kids are trained to get to know each child beyond name and what family she comes from.
- Because a “Discipler” is building a relationship with the parents too he knows what the needs and wants of the child are.
- The “Discipler” knows the hopes and dreams of mom and dad for the child.
- The “Discipler” has thought through and written out a plan of how each child to whom he is committed will be discipled in the coming year.
Add to this the value of indirect parent training that happens when your nursery volunteers come to the Children’s Ministry trainings – not only are they learning to disciple someone else’s kids, they are learning to disciple their own kids. Parents are studying the concepts that are taught in children’s ministry because they are serving in children’s ministry so it much easier to naturally continue the discipleship at home.
This approach will minister to each child as an INDIVIDUAL and we must be INTENTIONAL in everything we do. This begins in the nursery and is carried through the entire children’s ministry.
More is Caught than Taught
I was driving down Railroad Street in Hayward, WI the other day and a truck with a camper trailer pulled out in front of me between Marketplace Foods and McDonalds and made me stop short.
Now obviously according to the generally accepted etiquette of civilized driving, one does not make another vehicle wait or stop short when pulling an extra large camper trailer. This over-size towing package should wait patiently until the road and other vehicles are clear before embarking on its destination.
Well this obstruction did not wait and it affected my driving attitude for a brief second. I had my two girls in the car when this happened (and, to be honest, wasn’t as dramatic as I’m making it out to be). Due to Hayward being a tourist/vacation destination for many people, us locals get used to city drivers and vacationers on our roads and we usually have to tolerate their erratic driving during the summer months.
Here’s what I thought: “This guy (or lady) just cut me off! How dare they?!” Then I paused, realized it was a non-local, and proceeded to wait patiently and choose to be cordial rather than annoyed (any average driver knows this is difficult, right?).
My next was this: “If I were to scream and yell or mutter under my breath about what I feel about what this person just did, my girls will hear this and they will learn something. They will learn that when you are cut off by another vehicle in the car it is okay to call the other driver an ‘idiot’ or ‘stupid’ or ‘crazy’ or ‘inconsiderate’ (of course, which all might be true!). But is this what I want to teach my kids about how to be like Jesus in our world? No.”
Often what our kids learn from us is our responses to things that happen in our lives. The difficult part to play as a parent is being aware (all the time) of our responses–holy or unholy. Of course, my wife Amanda and I try to verbally teach our kids good, holy responses, but those lessons pale in comparison to the things they learn when we are not “consciously” teaching… like when we are driving down Railroad Street and other cars pull out in front of us. The old adage is true: “more is caught than taught.”
What are your kids “catching” from you? Have you ever thought about that? What do other people “catch” from how you live your life as a person who follows Jesus?