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Notes from Session #5
Sticky Faith // Parent Curriculum DVD

Ultimately your main goal with your child’s faith is that their spiritual journey leads to adopting your faith as their own.

We can’t control our kids faith development because ultimately whether or not they will have sticky faith rests on them and their decision. Our kids don’t live out our hopes and dreams for them, but their own hopes and dreams for themselves.

Shower kids with unconditional support

At some level, for all kids, growing up is difficult and lonely. We add in things like academics, sports, extra-curricular activities, managing friendships and tough family situations, along with a budding faith, we have to help and come alongside of kids to guide them in making good choices. However, faith is meaningless unless they choose it for themselves. Parents cannot force or choose it for their kids.

“Your long-term commitment to be there for them, regardless of how they act, is one of your greatest gifts to them.”

We need to treat our kids with respect, even when we disagree with them or are disappointed in them. If our kids are interested in church or God, we often try to control them back to church or God. Instead, we need to be the presence of God to them dispensing grace and love, not condemnation or judgment.

“Should I make my kids go to church?”

Notes from Session #4
Sticky Faith // Parent Curriculum DVD

Segregation in the church is causing kids to shelve their faith.

“High school and college students who attend church-wide worship services and have intergenerational relationships, tend to have more sticky faith.”

Not just sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with kids in a worship service setting, rather:

“The number one way kids are effected by church is when adults have shown an interest in them.” When adults make an effort to get to know the kids.

Our churches, in an effort to care for kids well, have established and proliferated adult to student ratios to be adhered to in children’s ministry (in the Nursery, early childhood, elementary, and middle school and high school), all for good and wise reasons. In our churches we need to reverse the standard ratios (not get rid of them in a classroom or large group setting, but for discipleship purposes). Instead of something like 1 adult for every 5 kids, we need there to be 5 adults for every 1 kid. That’s five adults that you pick to invest in your kids in little, medium and big ways.

Kara Powell calls it:

A Sticky Social Web

Or a cluster and constellation of intentional intergenerational relationships. All of our kids need other adults to affirm and guide them, to be encouraged and involved (i.e. Sunday school teacher, small group leader, coach, teacher at school, family friend, etc.).

5 to 1 relationships won’t happen by accident. You as a parent have to be intentional.

“How do I go about a 5 to 1 sticky social web for my kids?”

Notes from Session #3
Sticky Faith // Parent Curriculum DVD

Imagine a microphone in your car recording the conversations… What would the mike record? Mainly logistics?

What percentage of these conversations would you talk about God or faith? What’s your answer? How do you feel about your answer?

We wished we talked about faith more with our kids as parents. There are the extremes: those who clam up about faith and those who gush about God to the annoyance of their kids. How can we find the middle ground?

Talking About and Living Out

How can we have words and conversations that build a strong sticky faith?

We often just interview our kids:

• What did you learn about in Sunday school?
• What do you remember from the sermon?
• How was youth group?

And depending on the mood of your child, you will get the range of responses. We also need to share with our kids how we are being developed by Christ and faith.

Tricky Subjects

Sex

The more important religion is, the more difficult it is to talk about sex. Kara Powell: “I find that incredibly ironic! We should be at the front of the line talking with our kids about sex because we know that sex, when done right, is a fantastic gift from God.”

Notes from Session #2
Sticky Faith // Parent Curriculum DVD

Who am I? is a question of identity. Am I what my hair looks like? My makeup? My clothes? The music I listen to? The friends I hang out with?

Tim Clydesdale is a sociologist who did a study of 125 students who graduated from High School. He called what teenagers do with their identity: an identity lockbox. You put things important to you in a lockbox. Young people put faith, or their spiritual identity in a lockbox. You put it in and you can take it out at will. College students put faith on hold (in the lockbox) so they can party in college… they shelved their faith.

Faith formation is a messy process. It often feels like 3 steps forward and 2 steps back. Few kids follow a straight path. Their faith formation often consists of twists and turns in our lives than what we want as parents for them.

No matter what, your kids are God’s beloved.

We need to remember this CORE truth for our kids (as well as for us). Henri Nouwen says that everyone muses about the “Who am I?” question and we answer it in inadequate and destructive ways:

• I am what I do
• I am what I control
• I am what others say about me

What, then, is the answer to the question “Who am I?”

Notes from Session #1
Sticky Faith // Parent Curriculum DVD

40-50% of young adults will want to stick with their faith

Fuller Youth Institute did a study with 500 youth group graduates through 3 years of college.

Your kids are more connected to you (parent) than you might think. You (parent) are the most important influence in your student’s life. How you express and live out your faith may have a greater impact on your son or daughter than anything else. There is ALWAYS still time to start practicing sticky faith. It’s never too late, nor is it ever too early.

Fuller Youth Institute asked college juniors this question:

What is being a Christian all about?