About a month ago, I did a teaching with the middle school students with these two thoughts:
What are you building your life on? (Matthew 7:24-27)
What are you building your life with? (1 Corinthians 3:10-15)
When my lead pastor asked if I could preach for a couple of weeks in a row, I thought of this teaching with the students at Youth because it was so impacting to me personally and I had been contemplating its implications ever since. So I thought that the church could benefit from my wrestling!
What Are You Building Your Life On?
There are three main areas of focus in this message:
The account of the wise man and the foolish man in Matthew 7:24-27, specifically hearing the words of Jesus and either putting them into practice (wise human) or not putting them into practice (foolish human).
Jesus’ actual words that he was referring to in the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5-7. Instead of sharing ALL of the words (which can be a bit overwhelming), I focused on two specifically: Matthew 5:11 and 5:21-22.
Jesus’ central thesis statement and thrust of the kingdom of heaven: Repent (Matthew 4:17). The sermon, Jesus’ words, are put into practice through repentance.
What Are You Building Your Life On? (part 1): Download
Teaching Videos
Video of a lighthouse withstanding the onslaught of crashing waves (wise man): Download
Video of a house floating down a river during a flood as well as a house breaking in half (foolish man): Download
This post first appeared at Wesleyan Kids on March 15, 2014
This past week, Hayward Wesleyan Church hosted a “leadership summit” where we invited all the leaders of our church (those serving in all the different ministries of the church) to a collective gathering where we would celebrate, encourage, and exhort one another. The pastors chose the passage of Scripture where Paul shares some parting wisdom to his protege Timothy (2 Timothy 2:1-7). I was given 2:6 where Paul references a “hardworking farmer.” Here is the essence of my encouragement and exhortation to our ministry leaders at Hayward Wesleyan:
“The hardworking farmer should be the first to receive a share of the crops” (2 Timothy 2:6 NIV)
I am not a farmer. I have never farmed other than help my wife with our garden. So my observations come from a limited and unlearned perspective of farming!
Here are 5 ways I have observed ministry is like farming:
1) A farmer understands the importance and significance of the different seasons.
Spring (planting), summer (cultivation and care), fall (reaping and harvesting), and winter (rest, fallow, odds & ends). This seems to follow the way God designed the world, the year in particular, to work: more light in the summer to work and less light in the winter to rest.
Ministry can be up and down. When one is going well, another seems to not be doing well and in need of attention. When Youth is going well, Followers needs attention. When Followers is going well, often Youth is struggling.
This happens in our small groups too, doesn’t it? There are seasons where things seem to be going well, all cylinders are firing. Then there are seasons where you wonder if anyone is growing.
In my personal life, there are seasons of growth and seasons of fallow.
2) A farmer has to be faithful, diligent, consistent, and hardworking because his livelihood depends on it.
If a farmer doesn’t work, chances are he’ll starve to death. If he doesn’t work, he doesn’t produce anything. Something these young whippersnappers could learn a thing or two from here right?
Faithful. “firm in adherence to promises or in observance of duty” (m-w.com)
Diligent. “characterized by steady, earnest, and energetic effort” (m-w.com)
Consistent. “always acting or behaving in the same way” (m-w.com) over time
Hardworking. “using a lot of time and energy to do work” (m-w.com)
A minister of the Gospel needs to faithful, diligent, consistent, and hardworking because the Gospel depends on it!
Are you:
Faithful. “firm in adherence to promises or in observance of duty”?
Diligent. “characterized by steady, earnest, and energetic effort”?
Consistent. “always acting or behaving in the same way” over time?
Hardworking. “using a lot of time and energy to do work”?
3) A farmer knows that the purpose of seeds are to bring life.
Seeds are designed to produce organic life. The seed of the gospel is to produce life in Christ. That’s its job… its essence. We need to make sure that we are sharing the right kind of seed (the Gospel of Jesus) and that the right kind of life is being produced in the life of the disciple.
I can hear the objection right now:
“But some people just plain don’t want the seed of the Gospel, or they are messed up seeded-kinda-Gospel people… they are malformed seedlings.”
Yep. Our responsibility as ministers of the Gospel is to sow the seed of Jesus Christ… it is the responsibility of the recipient to cultivate their heart. You know the parable:
Some seed fell among the hard soil (the seed couldn’t take root and Satan easily plucked it away.
Some seed fell among rocky soil (it gave birth to life, but withered in the sun because it had no roots).
Some seed fell among thorny soil (the seed gave birth to life and the plant grew, but was choked out because of the thorns, which were the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desire for other things, cause no fruit from the plant).
Some seed fell among good soil (which produced life and fruit far exceeding what was originally planted).
4) A farmer can create a fruitful, hospitable environment.
We cannot cultivate a person’s heart (that’s the Holy Spirit’s job), but we can cultivate a fruitful, hospitable environment (that’s what the community of God’s people, wherever and whenever they meet is).
Surely a farmer does not allow a semi-truck to drive through her fields. Surely a middle school dodgeball game isn’t going to be played in my wife’s garden. A minister of the Gospel can create and cultivate an environment that allows for the germination of faith and an arena where that young faith can be nurtured, cared for, and challenged to withstand all that nature (and life) throws at it.
Are we listening to people?
Are we answering the right questions and addressing the right issues in people’s lives?
Are we too nice or maybe too harsh with people?
Do we give people encouragement and challenge in the appropriate doses that they need?
5) The farmer is the first to experience/see the fruit of her labor.
The farmer gets to be the first to taste the lusciousness of the newest strawberry in the patch. The freshness of the first ear of corn. The smell of wheat in the field. Eventually, the farmer’s fruit is shared among many people, but the farmer is on the front line of growth and gets to both witness and appreciate the fruit of her labor.
As ministers of the Gospel, we get to be on the front line and both witness and appreciate God transformative work in people’s hearts and lives. This is why we do what we do: to see the seed of the word of God planted in the fertile hearts of people and the production of much fruit.
I’m always trying to exegete our current culture—both the good and the bad—to get an idea what effect it is having on the children and teenagers I and our small group leaders interact with on a weekly basis. Culture is always a moving target than I’m trying to understand.
So I wondered where our children are at with their questions about God and the Bible.
Instead of assuming I know what their questions are, I wanted to ask the students what questions they actually have about God and the Bible.
Here is a list of questions from 3rd, 4th and 5th grade students on March 3, 2014:
How did Jesus rise on the third day?
Why aren’t unicorns alive anymore?
What if Jesus didn’t die?
Why aren’t dinosaurs in the bible?
Is Jesus in all the Bible stories?
What if Jesus decided not to die?
Why are there Bibles?
Why is Jesus powerful?
Why is Jesus important?
Why is the devil evil?
Who made God?
How did Jesus come back to life?
Why does Jesus hang out with bad people?
Why did Steven get stoned?
I don’t understand if Jesus & God are the same person.
Why do all people have to die?
Why don’t people live 9 lives like a cat?
Who created God?
How did Jesus survive when he died?
How old is Jesus today?
How is Jesus so cool & we are not?
Who’s idea was it to make the Bible?
Who was the first prophet?
Who was the first person to die in the Bible?
Why are you invisible?
Why does my sister fight with me?
How did God make the Holy Bible?
Why were there no dinosaurs on Noah’s Ark?
If Jesus didn’t die would people still sin?
Is Jesus in all the stories in the Bible?
I wonder what you look like as a person.
Why did they invent women?
Why were people surprised when you weren’t in the grave?
Why are people mean?
Why was the world invented?
Where did women come from?
Did Jesus rise from the dead?
Why did Jesus make the Bible?
What was it like back then?
Why don’t my parents let me do what I want?
What did your clothes look like?
What was God’s first friend?
Who made you?
What is God?
Are they going to make another Bible?
How high up is the sky?
Why does my mom have to be so mean?
Who are your parents?
Why did you have a tree with bad fruit?
How are you doing?
If you can tell the future why did you not stop Eve from eating the apple?
Who were the people that killed you?
Why did you create mosquitos?
Why do good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people?
I pray to God sometimes but he doesn’t answer.
Is God a secret?
Why is there 12 special people?
Why does God frown upon gay people?
Did God make all the galaxies?
How did Jesus come back from the dead?
Why did God not save Him when he was dying on the cross?
How did You make all animals in 7 days?
How did God make us?
How does God make rain, snow & hot?
How was God made?
Do you have a last name?
Why are there different kinds of Bibles?
How many sisters & brothers do you have?
Why are dinosaurs extinct?
Why did God keep the people from recognizing Jesus?
Sally Lloyd-Jones, author of the Jesus Storybook Bible, talks about her appreciation for C.S. Lewis.
“SUCH AN INCREDIBLE MIND WROTE CHILDREN’S STORIES.”
I appreciated Jones’ words toward Lewis and I agree that those who write good children’s stories tend to be incredible and often deep thinkers. If an author of a story does not have a deep well, then the narrative has an inherent shallowness to it.
As those who disciple kids, whether at home, church, or on a team, the “story” that we transmit comes from an author that is deeper and more incredible and brilliant than we can even imagine. God has told an incredible story and He invites us to be a part of it. This is the story that we transmit to children through storytelling and modeling.
It is vitally important that we do a good job at telling God’s story, not as a boring instrument to be taught merely to children, but as an exciting, fresh adventure that brings life to all those who hear the grand narrative of Scripture.
So get better and better at retelling the brilliant story of Scripture each and every time.
“THE WORLD NO LONGER CARES HOW MUCH OUR STUDENTS KNOW. KNOWLEDGE IS A COMMODITY. WHAT THE WORLD CARES ABOUT IS WHAT THE KIDS WILL DO WITH WHAT THEY KNOW.”
Critical thinking and problem solving. Begins with the ability to ask really good questions… the right questions. The world is more interested in problem formulation, than problem solving.
Collaboration across networks and leading by influence. Working together on teams where cultural diversity is valued. These teams are led by peers with influence, not supervisors with positional authority. How do we ensure that every young person learns to lead their peers through influence?
Agility and adaptability. The pace of change and the complexity of problems favors people who are agile and adaptable.
Initiative and entrepreneurialism. How do we keep that entrepreneurial system alive? Merely meeting goals is not good enough. But if a person sets 10 far-reaching or stretch goals and hits 6 or 7 of them, he or she is a hero.
Effective oral and written communication. Number one complaint of employers and college teachers. The reason students don’t know how to write is they don’t know how to think, to reason… making a constructive and coherent argument. This is only half the problem: “They do not know how to write with voice. They don’t know how to put their own passion and perspective into their communications.” When was the last time you were asked to speak or write with passion?
Accessing and analyzing information.
Curiosity and imagination. Right brain skills (curiosity, empathy, imagination, creativity) are at least as important as left brain skills. However, the need for curiosity and imagination is more important than we realize.
While this training and perspective video shares some cutting edge thoughts for the business world, these skills are vital for our children to learn in order to engage with this ever-changing world of ours.
The Gospel is transferred and communicated in the mediums of our time. Culture is a vehicle through which to dialogue about how relevant and true the Good News of Jesus. The Gospel is a-culture, meaning it transcends nor is bound by culture. However, it is through doing good culture exegesis can we hope to communicate and dialogue with those within our culture.
These are traits that disciples of Jesus need to understand in order to “witness” to our culture.
Sally Lloyd-Jones on Parenting Children Into the Christian Worldview Story
“IF A STORY CAPTURES OUR CHILDREN, THEN NOTHING ELSE COMPETES.”
Stories from books seem to capture a sense of wonder, adventure, a “secret world escaped into.” Video games seem to make children worse and addictive.
“PLAYSTATION PUTS KIDS’ LIFE ON HOLD, WHILE A BOOK SEEMS TO EXPAND LIFE.
“WE NEED TO CAPTURE CHILDREN WHO PUT THEIR LIVES ON HOLD WITH STORIES.”
Jones has a sense that capturing stories with boys is more difficult.
Children, with story, whether told through film or TV or books or comic (or however it’s told), if they can catch a glimpse that it matters how they live, it matters who they are, and that they are part of this greater story, then there is no stopping them. We need to capture their imagination.
Men need to know their family intimately, not on a superficial level.
What are you concerned about?
What are you worried about?
How are you doing?
How are we doing?
Men fail to know their families in that their family is not a priority. Men show their spouse as well as their children that they are a priority when we actually engage and relate and have fun with them.
The marriage is the foundation for all their other relationships. The priority is your spouse. Your relationship with your children are inextricably linked to the nature of your marital relationship.
We need to be present… not just physically, but mentally and emotionally and relationally.
THE BEST THING WE CAN DO FOR OUR KIDS IS HAVE A SOLID MARRIAGE.
What kind of communication do men need to get right?
Husbands need to pay more attention and be more grateful for their wives. We need to express that gratitude.
Why is communication so difficult for men in particular? It’s easier for some than others (it all depends on background and how communication has been modeled). If you are deficient in communication then you have to work harder at it.
Article first appeared at Wesleyan Kids from April 25, 2014
Children need to be taught to obey. Why?
Parents, teaching your children to obey is actually training your children to obey God.
When our children are young, things need to be black and white. Obedience brings blessing and disobedience brings punishment. Children have to learn that disobedience does not work for them.
Can you imagine if a child grows up thinking that disobedience works in their favor?
I’ve got a number of teenagers in my youth group that have not been taught to obey and at their age it’s almost too late.
Once children get older, perhaps in late elementary school and into middle school, the gray areas start to pop up (don’t worry, they’ll bring it to your attention!) and then parents have to start nuancing their reactions and teachings.
Article originally appeared at Wesleyan Kids on May 12, 2014
One of my good friends is an elementary gym teacher. If he were to ask his students what they wanted to play during gym class, they would reply:
“Pom, pom, pullaway!”
This is their favorite game. If they were given a choice, this is what they would choose… EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. My friend, however, knows that while his students want to play this game all the time, it is not what they need every time. Students need a variety of physical activity, not just the same thing every time.
If I were to ask our students at Hayward Wesleyan Church what they wanted to play in the gym, they would respond with
“Dodgeball!”
EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. And we play a lot of dodgeball! In fact, because of their love of dodgeball, we have 7 or 8 versions of dodgeball so we won’t play the same exact kind each time. There are a few students, however, that are not that fond of dodgeball and would like to play something else. It’s not that they won’t play dodgeball, they would prefer a variety versus a continual obsession. Again, they want dodgeball all the time, but they don’t need dodgeball all the time.
This is where confident leadership enters.
Just because students want something, doesn’t mean they need something.
If you are a parent, you already understand this tension. If given a choice of options for food, my two lovely daughters would choose bread with jelly… EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. For some reason, bread with jelly is their favorite food of choice. I would be a horrible parent, according to a nutritionist, if I let my daughters consume only bread with jelly (and the occasional influx of candy). So while I know what they like, they only get what they want in measured amounts. Why? Because I know what is good for them.
I know that the same thing over and over again is not what they need, no matter how much they want it.
Same things with physical activity whether in the gym at school or playing games at church. As a leader, adult and parent, I know that the same thing over and over again is not what they need, no matter how much they want it. What I have learned as a leader is to use what they want to get at what they need. If I have a half-hour with students to play, I’ll play a couple of “unpopular” games first with the promise of dodgeball to follow. This appeases the die-hard dodgeball fans as well as the students who would like to play a variety. However, we NEVER play the same game twice in a row. So if we played Trench Dodgeball one week, we would play Elimination Dodgeball the next week.
As leaders, we shouldn’t structure ministry programming (physical activity, intellectual study, or emotional engagement) solely around the likes and dislikes of students. Nor, at the same time, should we ignore the likes and dislikes of our students. The trick is, like my daughter’s bread with jelly, to dispense their wants in measured amounts. To give them what they need in and through what they want.
The trick is to dispense their wants in measured amounts.
Either that, or somehow convince them that what they want is really what they need. Now this would be a neat trick!!
“My parents forced me to eat three times a day growing up. No joke. Three times. Every. Single. Day. And it wasn’t always stuff I liked, either. Matter of fact, I complained a lot about what my mom made. “Ewww, gross! Sauteed zucchini? Seriously? Mom, you know we hate this stuff!” So as I approached adulthood I made an important decision. Since my parents forced me to eat while I was growing up, I decided I was done with meals. Oh, here and there I’ll eat out of obligation. I mean, family traditions like Thanksgiving and Christmas, yeah, I’m there. But daily eating? No way. I’m done.
“My son told me a few weeks into school that he didn’t like the teacher. He wasn’t getting excited enough about learning, and he didn’t really feel connected to the other kids in his class, so I told him he never had to go back to school again. Who wants to waste their time going somewhere where they aren’t being fulfilled?
“We’ve never forced our daughter to stay off the road when playing. We don’t want to restrict her imagination. We allow her the freedom to make her own choices in life.
“Set in any other context, excuses people make for not going to church sound completely ridiculous. But set in the context of Christianity, people say these things in all seriousness while others nod sagely in somber agreement.”
This was funny to me because as a pastor I hear these kinds of excuses often. What’s more serious, though, is that I hear them almost exclusively from Christians, not non-Christians. For some reason, there are some Christians that come to the conclusion they don’t need to physically come to church on any regular basis, nor do they need to encourage their children to participate in and learn from the community of faith, which is the church (assuming a non-forced, open-minded relationship between parents and children).
Let me be clear: I don’t think parents should force their children or teenagers to come to church in a militant, rule-bound way.
I also don’t think parents should apologize for bringing their children or teenagers to church or quit just because they don’t want to go either. It is all a matter of relationship (I think). As evidenced humorously above in the article, we as humans (both young and old) have to do things in life that we don’t necessarily want to always do.
Ideally, I think things should look like this:
If either one of my daughters doesn’t want to go to church anymore, I’m going to ask them why and we are going to have an open conversation about it. I am going to respect their opinions and thoughts and feelings. Why? Because they are an emerging autonomous human being. Need another why? Because God himself respects our opinions and thoughts and feelings. I am going to be intentionally engaging with their hearts, not just their behavior. Arguably, this shouldn’t happen just because one of my kids doesn’t want to go to church anymore. This should be how I engage with them all the time, so this develops a pattern of engaging with my girls (and other people as well!). My bias will be toward continuing to encourage them to engage with church (Sunday morning gathering as well as youth group) in order to think through the why they don’t necessarily want to. It becomes a matter of learning who they are and what they think in a context where they might disagree but then as a family we can talk about that after each meeting at church as they want.
While I wouldn’t want to force my kids to do anything, what I do want them to do is not quit easily because something is hard and quit engaging just because they might disagree.
Once my kids are older high school students (junior or senior) and if they have engaged actively as I have described above and still desire to not go to church anymore and stop engaging because they don’t want to anymore, then I will no longer “make” them go, but will let them make their own decisions about that (because as soon as they leave the nest, they are going to be making their own decisions anyway). My desire will always be to maintain relationship and engage with my two girls, no matter if they attend church and follow Jesus or not. While I believe they should and following Jesus will greatly impact their life for the better and ultimately make sense of our human condition, I can’t make them believe that, I can only hope, pray and give space. But I will always engage lovingly with them on these matters and allow them to make their own decisions.
This isn’t a rule-bound approach to church and engaging in faith… it’s more of a relationally-centered, going after the heart way of engaging church and thus faith.
When we built an addition on to the Hayward Wesleyan Church, I knew that I eventually wanted to install a bouldering/rock wall along the back wall in the new, large programming room. However, I didn’t know how to go about accomplishing such a task.
Here is the process I went through to propose and have the bouldering, rock wall built at Hayward Wesleyan Church for the children and youth ministry:
1. I got in touch with smart people.
I made two initial phone calls to get the ball rolling.
The first phone call was to a rock climbing gym in Duluth, MN that had a bouldering wall. I wanted to know what the height limitation of a bouldering wall was. I did not want to have to have the students secured in harnesses. I just wanted the students to be able to jump on the wall and climb. The person I talked to was very helpful. He told me that the general rule of thumb for those who are bouldering is to climb no higher than one’s shoulders. This became one of our rules. I also wanted to know how to build one. Basically he told me that heavy-duty plywood, the handholds themselves, and a crashpad were the main ingredients for an indoor rock wall. He gave me some information on what companies to research and then I thanked him for his helpful information.
The second phone call was to our insurance company. They love questions like this because they get paid more to insure our church for more things! I asked what they needed from me to insure something like this. She told me to create a proposal that included what I wanted to do, how it would be built, what it would look like, how would it be managed, and how it would be secured when it wasn’t in use. Here is a copy of that proposal.
2. Then I started to share my idea with people.
I needed to start informing key people as to what I was thinking about. I had no idea, yet, what something like this would cost, so this wasn’t any kind of formal proposal, but rather just sharing a dream about something fun.
I talked about it with our pastoral staff.
I mentioned it briefly in one of my reports to the board.
I talked with a couple of contractor friends who I knew really liked rock climbing.
I shared the idea with most of my children and youth ministry leaders.
And I even shared it with a few students, who thought it was a great idea!
This stage took the longest. In fact, nothing happened for almost 3 years since my initial idea. During that three years, a local sports camp shut down and I was able to get all of their rock wall handholds for free! Super cool. I was also able to get some foam padding for the ground for really, really cheap.
3. Formal Proposal
I had acquired the handholds, the mats, and the expertise to manage the wall, now it was time to formally request permission from our church board and trustees to move forward. Since I had been sort of talking about a rock wall for over 3 years, most of the people on the board weren’t surprised to hear me ask for permission. I think they probably thought they had already given me permission. One man on the board asked if it was a good thing to do in the room or not, seeing how it’s going to be a permanent fixture in the room. I didn’t even have to say anything. Another board member asked him if his two grandsons would enjoy climbing on it. Once that thought was put in his head, he readily agreed that it was a good idea and that kids would probably have lots of fun with it!
Because I was planning on using budgeted money to pay for the building materials (structural cost and labor), it was just a matter of obtaining board and trustee permission. The vote was unanimous.
4. Building the Wall
With permission secured, it was on to getting our contractor scheduled to do it. This took a while because Hayward was experiencing a surge in new construction and remodeling since the economic downturn. I was finally able to get it scheduled for a date in February 2014. They pulled their gear into the Main Street Theatre room and went to work.
Pictures
It turned out great! The kids loved it!!
We put some rules on the wall to govern how to use the bouldering/rock wall.
The frogger’s job is to take everyone in the circle out. The way the frogger eliminates the people in the circle is by sticking out their tongue quickly at the person they are taking out. The frogger must eliminate a person without the “guesser” seeing him/her doing it. The “guesser’s” job is to find out who the “frogger” is before everyone in the circle is eliminated.
Depending on the size of the group, you’ll give the guesser 2-3 opportunities to guess who the frogger is. The guesser will need to get the attention of the moderator and say they are accusing a particular person. If that person is the frogger the game is over. If that person isn’t the frogger, then the person guessed is out, and the game continues until the guesser has used all of their guesses or the frogger manages to eliminate everyone in the circle except for themselves.
When someone in the circle receives the frogger’s tongue sticking out at them, instruct them to silently count to 10 and then fall on the ground as if they were killed somehow. It’s important for the people in the circle to not avert their eyes from the frogger and not to die quickly, but to wait at least 10 seconds.
The person who was the frogger becomes the next guesser and they leave the room for the next round while a new frogger is chosen and brought back in to commence the round.
Couple of things to think about:
You can time this game so the frogger doesn’t take their sweet time (i.e. 3-5 minutes).
Make sure the people in the circle don’t look too obviously at the frogger or the guesser will quickly figure it out.
Being the frogger is super-fun, so make sure you keep the game moving quickly to offer lots of opportunities for the students to be able to play the frogger role.
Encourage people to die creatively.
Have fun! Our middle school students love this game!!
